Dancing Through Insecurities: A Ballerina's Journey in the Glittering World of Performing Arts

Gazing at the sun-kissed beach, the golden rays reflected in her eyes, she felt the salty breeze on her skin, marking the end of a three-month slumber. Ruby, a professional dancer with a penchant for the ocean, donned her sand-covered sandals and oversized sunglasses, finally relishing the freedom of fresh air. Her journey back to the dance class, deprived for months, was a pilgrimage towards the familiar scent of pine-scented mop and the joyous dance floor.

As she extended her legs gracefully, the classical music setting the rhythm, Ruby couldn't help but revel in the moment. Sweat dripped onto the polished wood, creating a mosaic of dedication. For her, every moment spent not dancing was a moment wasted. Despite the excitement of reuniting with friends, Ruby's journey had been a lifelong pursuit that began as a shy four-year-old in Wahroonga.

The transformation from a timid girl to a professional dancer touring London, Paris, and Turkey was not without its challenges. Ruby's dedication to her childhood dream required rigorous focus on her body, not just choreography. In a candid moment, she emphasised, "appearance and body type is probably 80% of the job, and talent is the remaining 20%."

The pressure on body image, especially in the performing arts industry, is a reality Ruby knows all too well. Growing up in an environment of constant comparison in an all-girls high school, she found herself influenced by societal standards propagated by social media. The "conventionally desirable body type" haunted her, influencing her eating habits and exercise routines.

While dance as an art form celebrates diversity, certain roles demand a specific physique. Ruby's experience as a Disneyland protégé shed light on the stringent standards set by casting directors. The audition process, where appearance played a pivotal role, highlighted the harsh reality of the performing arts industry. Rejections based solely on physical appearance can shatter confidence, leaving aspiring dancers hesitant to pursue further opportunities.

As a Cabaret show dancer, Ruby faced the pressure to be at her fittest and most toned. The dazzling costumes bedazzled the stage but added to the scrutiny on her body. Despite heaven being on the dance floor, the mirror became a source of insecurity, highlighting every perceived flaw.

Working as a showgirl and magician's assistant at a Darlinghurst cabaret, Ruby found joy in spontaneous performances but initially struggled with revealing costumes that fuelled comparisons with colleagues. Body dysmorphia often led to negative self-talk and the constant voice saying, 'I'll never look like that.'

Despite these challenges, Ruby acknowledges the positive shift brought about by the body positivity movement. Social media has played a crucial role in nurturing a healthier relationship with her body. Moving away from toxic thin culture, she feels more confident and appreciative of her body.

Dancing in Australia, Ruby feels fortunate for the opportunities but acknowledges the competitive standards. The dance world may sparkle with glamour, but the constant pressure on appearance persists, making self-doubt and insecurities familiar companions for many dancers.

"Even in this modern-day society that is body positive and more progressive than earlier times, the look of the dance really is the most important thing," Ruby reflects, encapsulating the complex dance between passion and the relentless pursuit of a perfect performance.

See more of Ruby’s journey on her Instagram profile